Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize