She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
