He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
