We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You can't special order awesome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
