yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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