Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
