I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
