im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
