I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
