I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize