Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
