My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
