dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
