the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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