Say something about gay babies.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
