He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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