I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
