Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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