i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
