Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
