hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What drink are we having for lunch?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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