dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
