I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
