Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
