i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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