You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
