I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
