My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
