he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
that's an acceptable place to lick
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
