can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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