How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
