why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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