Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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