im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
