I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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