I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
