You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Randomize
