I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
