If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
