I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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