OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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