I want to stick my p in your. b.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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