I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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