I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
