Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
