I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
