dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
