I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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