haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize