I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
