I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
