just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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