maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
