You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
