I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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