she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there is glitter all over my balls
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